High school was the time period when I got to experience the suburbs. Those four years where when I lived in Mountain View, a suburb type city in the Bay Area. It wasn't quite like the newer cookie cutter setup so typical for suburbs, but there were neighborhoods that had basically 4 versions of the same house on every street, or little condo communities like the one I lived in, where everything was strictly maintained to look exactly the same.
What always struck my as really creepy about my friend's homes was the coldness that hit me every time I went over. Maybe it was the fact that they all had central cooling systems that they actually used (whereas my parents were too cheap to plug our air conditioning in even when we were boiling hot). Or maybe it was the way their spacious, well appointed homes looked as if no-one lived there. Suburban architecture and the showroom furniture found in these homes always made me feel as if no-one actually lived there, and if they did, they touched their surroundings very gently so as not to make a smudge. This family disfunctional architecture, as I call it, always made me glad to go back to my own home, with it's cozy low-ceilinged living room and my little sister's toys scattered everywhere in controlled but exuberant chaos.
I wouldn't say my friends were all miserable, far from it- we all knew how lucky we were to be living in such a high cost area, to be going to such a good high school, and to have the leisure time and pocket money to enjoy ourselves. Though we weren't all in the financial bracket, we managed to get along without ever bringing money into our relationship. There was one thing I noticed however, tied to the richer and poorer of the high-school. The richer students felt the pressure to excel and succeed, to go to an Ivy league to get the six figure salary to afford the life-style their parents were giving them now but would cost five times as much in fifteen years. The poorer students felt the pressure of economic disadvantage, feeling like they would never be able to afford college so they'd probably potter around the community college for a while then settle down and never leave the town they went to high school in. For these two groups, success seemed to be defined in terms of suburbia- the affluent kids wanted to make enough money to be able to afford the suburban dream, while the poorer students feared being stuck in their suburban hell like something from the twilight zone. For one group, suburbia would be their success and reward, while for the other it would be their failure and punishment. The interesting thing is that both these groups delt with their anxieties in much the same way- quantities of alcohol and marijuana, liberally applied.
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4 comments:
I like how you brought up the contrasting experiences of the rich and poor. It's an interesting point that I don't recall discussing in the past. I think these two groups of people become accustomed to the lifestyle they lead and therefore can't envision anything better or worse for themselves. Sure there are those few disadvantaged students who choose to excel and alter their destiny, but the majority are content to continue living a life of hardship. Obviously there are many factors that contribute to this such as ability and opportunity, but the underlying theme is that achieving the American dream is harder than some may think. Those blessed enough to have been raised in a safe and relatively wealthy environment also struggle to achieve the same status their parents have. The original poster already touched on this though.
I was going to say pretty much the same thing... It's funny how what some people strive for is another person's trap, both struggling in opposite directions. Since I went to a Catholic high school, there was a range of students from those who strove to get there as a step towards a good college and eventually a good career alongside those there because of their parents money. It always seemed as though while the former would go off to college, get good jobs and settle into a nice area. The latter would go nowhere, supported by parents until they are supported by spouses, and stay settled into a nice area right next door.
I completely identify with the houses that look as though no one lives there. In my house growing up, the family room was for playing, but the living room was off limits. It was kept perfectly in order and only used for special occassions when my parents were entertaining.
I think much of the reason that the kids from wealthier families do the college-career-suburbia-thing is that they feel a lot of pressure to take the same path their parents did. I know I got the speech "we work damn hard to give you this comfortable life and opportunities we didn't have" ...which boils down to: we will only support you financially if you play by our rules. Obviously kids start to believe that this way of life must be superior to all others. I guess it's just a vicious cycle.
The suburbs are home to a diverse demographic and I think that is something that we haven't really discussed too much. It seems like our conversation is usually focused on a very narrow portion of suburbia.
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