Life in a suburb generally consists of a (beautiful) home, bought with money you don't have, never had and probably never will. A shiny new car running on the cheapest gas that can be found. A family blessed with 2.5 children and is fueled by drugs--uppers, downers, anti-depressants, Ritalin, Adderall, a drug for every mood. All of this consumption, empty consumption, over consumption, in order to achieve the appearance of order. An attempt to fit into the great chain of being. Proving that you are ready to move on up when you really only have enough to stay where you are (albeit maybe a little more comfortably).
What is the meaning behind this? what is the motive? Ruthless ambition. If you're good enough to be in the suburbs you're good enough to dream of doing better. You had the advantages: you're probably white, you probably have clothes on your back, food in your belly and enough time and money left over to think about leisure. Staying where you were wouldn't be an achievement, it would be settling. If you are living next door to the Jones' you'd better be ready to try and keep up with them. No new car? No family vacation to Hawaii? No gardener? No housekeeper? What have you been spending all of your money on?
Are the suburbs only endless cycles of wasted consumption? I think that while much of the time suburban life manifests itself in that way, that is not the driving force of its existence. I also think that from my perspective it is hard to understand the value behind the consumption. While I enjoy and appreciate the material as much as the next person, I find the joy from getting something new is often transient and even opens the door for regret (buyer's remorse). I think that the relationship to the material changes when you are the parents, the ones who chose (or maybe didn't chose but ended up in) the suburbs. Right now in my life consumption is a selfish act. It's all for me unless its Christmas or some one's birthday (although when the rules of gift given are analyzed even those purchases can be seen in a selfish light). A parent, however, exists in a state of perpetual gift giving--food, shelter, clothing, toys, trips, cars--they work for it, they pay for it and they give it away with no (or at least unequal) compensation other than the pleasure of giving a gift. It is not consumption that drives the suburbs, but procreation.
How can a society built around family values ultimately be looked at as empty, shallow and meaningless? Although I have my moments of cynicism, I feel that as a whole we have been too harsh on suburban life. I admit that when I realize that one of my life goals seems to be to settle in the suburbs I feel a little shocked and even a little ashamed. Settling seems like settling--but that probably stems from the romantic notions that grow from being on my own for the first time. But when I imagine myself years in the future wanting children I am always in the suburbs. I don't think I would want to end up there if I remained by myself or even as a couple but out of brainwashing or truth the suburbs seem to be the place for the American nuclear family.
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2 comments:
I feel the same way! I really hate the idea of the suburbs and love movies like Edward Scissorhands and American Beauty that interrogate the values of the suburbs. However, I too feel that the people who live there (not the ones who build them) move there with good intentions and a true belief that its better than something they had or its all they can afford.
I think the idea of a suburb is kind of like the idea of utopia, or communism. It's nice in theory- everybody living comfortably, getting along, no worries to distract you from the joys of family life and just being alive. In reality though, it never works out so perfectly, mainly because I think people don't have it in their nature to be so selflessly happy. I think one of the biggest suburban problem is that 1) a lot of suburbanites define happiness by how much they have, or who lives in the biggest house on the street, or who has the shiniest BMW. And 2) I think a lot of people, both in the suburbs and out, often define their happiness by look at those around them and comparing themselves to them. it's like looking at somebody miserable allows you to feel happier because you know you're doing much better than them, but then looking at someone who is doing alright in the world makes you sick with envy because you want all the shiny new toys they have. It's almost as if other people's happiness makes your own life of inferior quality.
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